The Second Pillar of Compassionate DivorceTM: Respectful Communication
"You catch more flies with honey than vinegar"
- Ernie Kahn
This old English proverb was a favorite expression of my dear deceased dad. It was a popular one in the day, and it still has a lot of relevance today.
Respectful Communication is a balancing act. You want to have constructive conversations with the person who has broken your heart or whose heart you broke. You have all these very real feelings about this person, and it might feel really good to let her know "how things really are" or to make him hurt the way you do.
The First Pillar of Compassionate DivorceTM: Self Reflection
Are you considering a mediation-based resolution to your divorce or separation, in which neither you nor your spouse or partner step foot into a courtroom? Do you believe that having a psychologist or counselor involved in your divorce or separation might help you sort out issues between you or with your children that could get in the way of reaching resolution?
If so, Compassionate Divorce™ may be a good option for you.
The three pillars of Compassionate Divorce™ are:
1) Self-Reflection
2) Respectful Communication
3) Achieving Positive Outcomes
How I Came to Compassionate DivorceTM
Joann Campoy and I have been working with divorcing and divorced couples and families in Sonoma County for many years. Our paths have crossed numerous times, Joann in her role as family attorney, and I as a custody evaluator, parenting coordinator, individual therapist, or co-parent counselor.
She contacted me earlier this year about a project she was developing that would empower clients to be in charge of their own divorces and stay out of court. She explained that she wanted to have a psychologist present at the initial appointment and involved in the divorce process.
How and Why We Created Compassionate DivorceTM
After practicing Family Law in Sonoma County for 22 years, I knew there could be something better that could avoid some of the conflict that separation often triggers within the family. I have seen the financial, emotional and physical damage this process can cause to all family members. I have spent years in the litigation process as well as all forms of mediation and am also familiar with other models.
I have worked with clients who tried and failed in these other models after spending thousands of dollars. I asked and listened to their comments and took the parts of these other models that seemed to work well to create our "one team for the entire family" approach, which makes Compassionate Divorce™ a unique and innovative mediation model that saves money.
